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Finding Acceptance and Community with Chronic ILlness with Nitika Chopra and Cheryl Crow
Patient Stories, Podcast

Finding Acceptance and Community with Chronic Illness, with Nitika Chopra, CEO of Chronicon

October 20, 2022
63 min read
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Summary:

On episode 82 of the Arthritis Life Podcast, Nitika Chopra shares how she went from lonely and isolated as a teen living with severe psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis, to her current state of self-acceptance and purpose. 

Nitika and Cheryl discuss how acceptance is an ongoing journey when living with multiple chronic health conditions, and share insights into how they cope with uncertainty. Nitika shares how and why she founded the incredibly impactful Chronicon conference and online community which inspires and uplifts people living with chronic illness around the globe.

Nitika and Cheryl also discuss what brings them joy and how they balance present moment acceptance with hope for the future. 

Video of Discussion

Episode at a glance

  • Nitika’s emotional journey with psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis in childhood
  • How acceptance of chronic illness is an ongoing journey: Nitika shares how a new diagnosis last year challenged her, but she eventually concluded that “acceptance and hope aren’t not mutually exclusive.” Cheryl & Nitika discuss how acceptance can sometimes bring up grief or other uncomfortable emotions.
  • Uncertainty: Cheryl & Nitika explore how they have coped with uncertainty
  • Listening to your body & nurturing yourself: Nitkka shares how she learned the importance of listening to her body and how she integrates nurturing self care into her daily routines
  • A discussion about how to accept the need for medications along with utilizing non-medicinal disease management tools
  • The “a-ha” moment that inspired Nitika to start the event & community Chronicon !
  • Community: Cheryl & Nitika discuss the importance of supportive and uplifting communities when you live with chronic illness

Medical disclaimer: 

All content found on Arthritis Life public channels was created for generalized informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Episode Sponsors

Rheum to THRIVE, a community support & education program Cheryl created to help people with rheumatic disease go from overwhelmed, confused and alone to confident, supported and connected. Join the waitlist for the next group!

Rheumatoid Arthritis Roadmap, a self-paced online course Cheryl created that teaches you how to confidently manage your physical, social and emotional life with rheumatoid arthritis. 

Speaker Bios:

Nitika Chopra is the founder of Chronicon, a media and events company, dedicated to elevating the lives of those living with a chronic illness. Nitika was diagnosed with psoriasis at the age of 10 and psoriatic arthritis at the age of 19 and lived over 17 years of her life being defined by her conditions. In 2010 she decided to take all of the lessons her health journey had taught her and use it to help others with the creation of her online magazine Bella Life. Since the start of her entrepreneurial journey Nitika has hosted her own TV talk show on Z Living called Naturally Beautiful, hosted over 40 events with hundreds of guests in attendance and has created dynamic partnerships with over 150 brands in the wellness space. 

After 10 years in event creation, Nitika launched Chronicon in the fall of 2019, focused on those living with a chronic illness. The event sold out, had over 2,000 livestream viewers, high-level brand sponsors and has been growing ever since. Now, Nitika is excited to announce that Chronicon is expanding online with The Chronicon Community, a new, accessible online space with inspiration, advocacy, and empowerment for chronically ill folks across the globe to connect. Nitika is also the host of The Point of Pain podcast which is available wherever you enjoy your podcasts. Follow her for daily inspiration @NitikaChopra + @ChroniconOfficial.

Cheryl Crow

Cheryl is an occupational therapist who has lived with rheumatoid arthritis for nineteen years. Her life passion is helping others with rheumatoid arthritis figure out how to live a full life despite arthritis, by developing tools to navigate physical, emotional and social challenges. She formed the educational company Arthritis Life in 2019 after seeing a huge need for more engaging, accessible, and (dare I say) FUN patient education and self-management resources.

Episode links:

Full Episode Transcript:

 

Cheryl:  

I am so thrilled to have Nitika Chopra today on The Arthritis Life podcast. Welcome!

Nitika:  

Thank you so much for having me. I’m so happy to be here.

Cheryl:  

Yay! Just as a quick intro, can you let us know where you live and what is your brief relationship to arthritis, before we delve in the details?

Nitika:  

Sure. Yeah. So, I’m a New Yorker. I live in Brooklyn, and I have had psoriatic arthritis since I was 19. So, for over 20 years now.

Cheryl:  

Wow. Yeah. And I would love to know like your diagnosis journey for psoriasis along with psoriatic arthritis, and what was it like to grow up, you know, as a young person with these conditions?

Nitika:  

Sure, yeah. I got diagnosed with psoriasis at the age of 10, which was, you know, a very — I mean, it’s always challenging to get a diagnosis, but it was uniquely challenging in the ways that so many things are at that time of life. Like, I hadn’t even had puberty yet. I hadn’t even like, I didn’t even know who I was in so many ways. And so, I mean, in all the ways, really. And so, getting that diagnosis right before it sort of formed who I am in the world was really hard, because it became such a big part of my identity for so long. 

And so, a lot of like, the second chapter of my health journey has been about forming other parts of my identity and realizing that I’m much more than my condition and all of that, but the first half was not that at all. The first half was very much like, oh, I have this thing. I ended up getting it really severely. So, from the tip of my foot to the tip of my head. Pretty much for about 17 years, I was completely covered. 

And for those people who don’t know about psoriasis, you know, it’s a condition that is, it’s very physically uncomfortable. It sort of itches like chicken pox. And I definitely had that experience. And I would wake up with bloody sheets from scratching at night, and flaking, and all this stuff. It was like very aggressive physically, in so many ways. And then, yeah, when I was 19, so almost 10 years into that diagnosis, I got psoriatic arthritis, which I didn’t even know was a thing. I had never heard of it before. I didn’t really know what was going on. 

And I basically had tried like, the first time I ever tried medicine, it didn’t work. Like, to take, to ingest medicine, I should say. It didn’t really work. And it sort of triggered me getting psoriatic arthritis, which also like I didn’t know it was a thing that can happen. And so, yeah, I remember being in my dorm room. And I was trying to open a box of cereal, like the inside bag of the box of cereal, which to be honest, those are kind of hard to open on — [Laughs]

Cheryl:  

A hundred percent.

Nitika:  

Yeah, kind of hard in a regular day. But I physically couldn’t move my fingers to open it. It wasn’t so much like the bag was hard to open. And I was just like, well, this is weird. Like, why aren’t my fingers moving? I can’t move them properly. And so, then kind of went on a journey of telling my parents and being like, what’s happening? What do you think I should do? And then going to a doctor and getting that diagnosis. So, yeah, that’s kind of how it went.

Cheryl:  

And we are a similar age. I was listening to your podcast a year ago when you turned 40, because I turned 41 this year. Yeah, okay. So, exactly. Where did you go to school, if you don’t mind me asking? 

Nitika:  

Well, I went to college the first two years at the University of Hartford in Connecticut and second two years at Marymount Manhattan College in Manhattan. 

Cheryl:  

Okay, we were not that far away. I was at Vassar in Poughkeepsie in 2000 to 2004. So, I know, alternate timelines. We could have met. Or because I got diagnosed at age 20. So, you know, and that’s, I know, a theme of, you know, both of our work is so many people feel isolated and alone. And little do we know, there’s all these other people going through the same thing. 

But social media was just an idea in Mark Zuckerberg’s head when we were diagnosed, so. Oh, no, I’ve already gotten off track. But yeah, no, and I had the same thing. I was a college athlete and I was back home for the summer and I had all these other health issues that I was going down these different roads of gastroenterology and didn’t think that my joint pain was any big deal because I was an athlete and just used to having aches and pains. 

But my mom was like, “Wow, you can’t even open —” like, again, one of these things that’s kind of hard to open but the milk, you know, the milk container. And she was like, “This is unusual.” Like, this is more than just maybe I fell weird on my hand playing soccer, you know? So, yeah, it’s really hard as a young person. And I was gonna say just as a little — I try to sprinkle in these little educational tidbits — that 30% of people with psoriasis will develop psoriatic arthritis. So, yeah, it’s not something — I would never logically think if a person has psoriasis, which I think of as like something that affects your skin, it could develop into psoriatic arthritis, which is more of a systemic autoimmune inflammatory condition. So, anyway. 

Nitika:  

Yeah. No, for sure. I think people, myself included, forget that psoriasis is an autoimmune disease. And so, and I struggled with that, too, as a kid. I think I didn’t even really understand what that meant because you just focus on it being your skin, so you’re just kind of like, okay. But then, you know, it sort of creates this issue where you feel confused by the fact that you’re feeling all of these other things like fatigue, or overall inflammation, or gut issues, or all these things that come with a lot of autoimmune stuff. And then, yeah, the arthritis kind of pops up there. And you’re like, what are you doing here? Like, you were not there. Like, what is going on?

Cheryl:  

Like, you’re not — we did not send you an invitation. Yeah. And I’m curious, because one of our themes today will be kind of acceptance, self-acceptance. And, you know, a lot of times, psoriatic arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis — which I have — are invisible conditions that can be — or mildly visible with psoriasis. But you were saying yours was pretty extreme. So, how did that affect you? Like, through, I’m just imagining being a teenager with skin, you know, manifestations. I’m just imagining that, I mean, being a teenager is just brutal, you know.

Nitika:  

Yeah, it is. It was brutal. And, you know, sometimes I look back at it, and I’m just like, how did I do that? I really actually don’t even know. I feel like, it’s what a lot of moms say with childbirth, like, they just have amnesia about it once it’s over. You’re just like, I have no idea how I got through that. And truthfully, that’s how I think about it a lot of times, because now if I think about, you know, my skin is in remission, and my arthritis is so much better through treatment and everything. And so, I just feel like now, if I had that all over my body, I just know it would be so, so, so challenging mentally. 

But I think one, when you’re younger, there is a different ability to be resilient in certain ways. You also are just, I don’t know, so in the moment in a lot of ways. Two, you’re just kind of getting through it and living in the moment. So, yeah, it was really challenging. For a long time, I didn’t have it on my hands or on my face. And so, I would wear long sleeves and pants all the time. And I would still like flake everywhere, so I’d have all of that stuff happening. But it sort of gave me a sense of like, okay, I can protect myself in these ways. But I do say like, it is one of those things when you have a visible condition, it’s like your greatest wound is there for everyone to see. 

 And I’m a very spiritual person. It’s something that I’ve always leaned on, you know, this inner strength and also this inner guidance that I have that I feel like is from a Source much greater than me. And not from a religious perspective at all, but just from my perspective of something bigger than me. And I think that’s been a huge part of my journey. So, in having this condition that everyone could see, I also saw a lot of truth, I feel like, about people, about the way relationships work. 

I saw that I was treated differently when I had psoriasis everywhere versus now when I don’t. And, you know, how people thought of me differently, but I was the same person. And so, I think that’s a lot of how I sort of navigate the world now, it really shaped me in that way. Like, you do not know what anyone is going through, even if you think you know. You could see them and have a whole story about this person based on what they look like, based on their economic background, based on their race, based on all these different things. And, you know, we know that intellectually, that you don’t really know. But to experience it in that way, in such a severe, extreme way, I think it’s something I’m honestly grateful for in a lot of ways, because I think it really shaped me, and also shaped a lot of the work that I do, you know, in the way that I navigate the community that I work with and the people that I get to work with every day. So, yeah, it was really hard. And it also was a beautiful teacher in a lot of ways.

Cheryl:  

That is absolutely beautiful. Yeah. And it reminds me of how like when you’re a teenager, I remember actually my English teacher had us go through this exercise. I hope I could find her and tell her how impactful this was. But she had — it was just a poem that we read about the masks that we wear, and it was like about how we try to wear the mask of like ‘I’m confident’ or that was like a metaphorical mask, but it really blew my mind. And I was like, you know, yeah, so many people hide, try to hide behind a mask, right? And when they’re younger. 

And then what happens is that if you experience love and acceptance, you don’t actually know, you know in the back your head, you’re like, “Well, actually, they’re only accepting this external mask. They don’t actually accept the real me,” you know. So, it’s like, when you don’t have the ability to put that mask, metaphorical mask on, then if someone does love and accept you, you can maybe understand that it’s a little bit more authentic. But —

 Nitika:  

That is so beautiful. I love that. And I think that’s such a great — I really felt that. Yeah, that’s such a great reminder. And we’re all putting masks on, you know, because a lot of society makes us or asks us to, you know, and it’s how we navigate things. But yeah, I think it’s like getting more and more comfortable with just fully being your full self without having to wear any masks. That’s like the beauty of life, really.

Cheryl:  

Yeah, and I loved in your episode, when you talked about turning 40, you were talking about like accepting that you’re a very direct person and that you can’t do things unless you really feel it. And I really resonated that because I felt as a child, I tried so hard, and I genuinely enjoy pleasing people and genuinely enjoy like quote-unquote ‘being the teacher’s pet’ or doing the right thing. It wasn’t like I wanted to be a rebel and I was hiding it. 

But I definitely at times, like would submerge what I really felt and wanted because I wanted to be a good girl, you know, do the right thing. And so, I love that you’re, you know, as we get older, we learn to embrace these parts of ourselves that maybe weren’t, society wasn’t giving you like a gold star for being like, “Why should I do that?” you know?

Nitika:  

Yeah. Oh, my gosh, totally. There’s so many times I’ll have conversations with friends. And I’ll be like, “I’m giving you a gold star. Because I know, as we become adults, we don’t get those anymore. And we still want them.” 

Cheryl:

Oh, my gosh.

Nitika:

Yeah. But no, it’s so real. And I think that, you know, I definitely, more, and more, and more — and even, you know, it’s been a year since I turned 40. So, even in the last year, I feel like I’ve had to embrace it even more. Like, how do I really honor the fact that I am a direct person and that there’s nothing wrong with that? And that even though I’m very kind, and very thoughtful, and loving, too, it doesn’t mean that I can’t also be direct. And so, like, sometimes those two things don’t always make sense to everybody. And yeah, embracing it more and more has been really liberating for me.

Cheryl:  

It really is. And, you know, you can’t — I think you can’t please everyone anyway, so might as well be direct. And at least you’ll know that the point has gotten across. But it is interesting for me being from Seattle, because people on the West Coast famously, I guess, according to East Coasters are a little more passive aggressive. Like, “It’s okay,” you know, and maybe it’s because I was in New York for four years, even though I wasn’t in the city, but I was upstate, but I definitely think that rubbed off on me. There’s a saying, like, “Clear is kind,” you know, “Unclear is unkind.” So, if you’re being clear with someone, then that’s actually kind to them, as well as kind to yourself.

Nitika:  

I love that. I’ve heard that before. But it’s a good reminder. I absolutely love it. And I feel that that’s how I take things into. When someone is clear with me, even if it’s harsh, even if it’s like kind of an awful thing that they said, you know what I mean? Not to be unkind, but like just kind of a thing that was like, “Oh, God, I hate that that’s the truth.” If it’s clear, I’m so, so grateful for it. And the people who are closest to me know that about me for sure.

Cheryl:  

Yeah, I love that. And, you know, back to the idea of acceptance — I have like a million follow up questions, but I’m gonna try to stay on track — you know, I’ve noticed when I work in my communities that a lot of people have this knee jerk reaction, which is what I had at first, that acceptance, oh, that’s a bad thing. I don’t want to accept, with relationship to my illness, like, I don’t want to accept it. I want to beat it, I want to defeat it, I want to make it go away. 

And so, you know, now I’ve had this transformation of being like, accepting my moment, like my current present moment from a mindfulness standpoint, has actually been really, really important for me, but it’s been a long kind of stubborn journey to acceptance. I didn’t want to accept. But yeah, when you hear the phrase ‘acceptance’ with respect to living with chronic illness, what comes to mind? And do you like acceptance, or are you like, nah? I’m really bad at asking leading questions. Like, you’re supposed to ask leading questions as an interviewer, but I’m always like — anyway, what do you think?

Nitika:  

Totally fine. Yeah, you know, I think — I have empathy for all of it, is the first thing I want to say. Because, you know, I was recently diagnosed with a new condition in the last few months that was triggered by getting COVID last fall. And so, yeah, I ended up getting myasthenia gravis, which is like a rare neuromuscular disease, the whole thing. And so, I’ve been dealing with that. 

And I kind of thought that I was like a pro with the whole acceptance thing, you know, because I definitely, with my psoriasis and my psoriatic arthritis, I’ve been through so much of that journey around acceptance. And I think I really, yeah, I was like a pro with it. Like, I was just like, “Okay, this is what I have, this is what I’ve got. I can still move forward and still like, live a full life, but I’m gonna like really embrace that I’m living it with these conditions.” 

But in getting the new diagnosis, you know, after so many years of not having a new diagnosis, I really came up against the acceptance thing. And what came up for me was just, “I don’t want it. I don’t. I’m good. I’m all set with the autoimmune diseases. I‘m all set. We can close shop now and just stop it at two, and I’m like good,” you know. 

So, getting this new condition, I was really coming up against that. And it was actually a conversation with a family friend who’s a doctor that really, you know, it was one of those direct, kind, but like harsh kind of conversation of like, “I think you need to accept that you have this condition.” And that like, yes, you can go into remission. Yes, you can have hope. Yes, all these things can happen. But I’m waking up every day being like, “No, no, no, this isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. It’s not happening right now. It’s not happening right now.” And that was not helping me or my body. 

I think what I’m learning, again, about acceptance — I thought I’d learned, I thought I had a PhD in this conversation — but clearly, I needed another crash course. But what I’m learning is that acceptance and hope, or acceptance and thriving, are not mutually exclusive. Like, I can have acceptance that, okay, I was diagnosed with this condition in May. It was brought on by this situation. I’m taking medication. I’m doing all these things for it right now. And I also can hope that the circumstances around it get better and change in the future. And I think it’s like, it’s a really tricky kind of fine line. 

Because, you know, you really, to accept, it’s like, I really need to be in the moment. And I really need to be like, this is what’s happening right now. And to have hope, it’s like looking into the future and wanting something different essentially. So, it’s like, how do we do that? 

But I think when you truly start to accept your day-to-day, what I notice is that there’s this sort of deep sigh of relaxation, relief, that happens in my body. Or I’m not waking up essentially in like a fight-or-flight response everyday, right? Where like, I was waking up in the first few months of the diagnosis being like, “Okay, like, how can I make this different? Like, how can I stop it? How can I change this?” you know, which now I’m like, “Okay, like, this is today. This is what’s going on. What do you got to do? What meds do you have to take? What do you have to do to take care of yourself?” And looking for that hope that’s going to be in the future as well. 

So, it’s kind of a long answer, but that’s the genuine place that I’m in right now. And I think the hard thing is people really feel frustrated with the acceptance conversation because they’re like, “Why would I want to accept this? This is awful,” you know. And we’re not saying accept it because it’s great. We’re not saying accept it, because you can’t want more for yourself. You know, accept what’s happening in the moment so that you can continue to move forward.

Cheryl:  

A hundred, hundred percent. And yeah, I almost think I should phrase it sometimes as ‘present moment acceptance’, like because, just like you were mentioning, you know, the present moment acceptance doesn’t preclude future hope. Like, I can simultaneously say that this moment — actually, Russ Harris explains, he’s the author of ‘The Happiness Trap’. He explains acceptance is: “taking what’s offered.” Like, this is what life is offering you right now. And you kind of have no choice but to take it. 

And then, you can say, “Okay, this is the present. And then I know that there’s lots of possibilities for the future. My future could get worse, but it could get better.” I was actually wearing my sweatshirt this morning from the ‘Self-Care is For Everyone’ website that I bought. It says, “What if it gets better?” because I always think of the worst case scenario, right? But actually, it could get better. Like, I’m always surprised that that’s a possibility. 

But the other thing I was gonna say is Dr. Kristin Neff, I don’t know if you know of her work. I think you spoke at the same conference as her. I’ve got brain fog. I’ll blame COVID but also rheumatoid arthritis, because I got COVID in August. So, now I’m like, okay, I have like, I’m gonna have multiple excuses for brain fog. But she’s talks about it, a point she made about acceptance that I had never thought of is, with regards to self-compassion, you first have to acknowledge and really confront what you’re going through in order to give yourself compassion. Otherwise, you’re just like, “There’s this kind of a little thing going on. It’s probably going to go away soon, though. So, it’s not really a big deal. But I’ll try to give myself —” you know, does that kind of resonate?

Nitika:  

Oh, yeah, that’s, I think that’s exactly what I was sort of doing, you know, a couple months ago. And I just, it kind of happens without you even realising it in a lot of ways. Like, I was, like, I didn’t even know it was happening until this person that I was talking to was like, “You know, this entire conversation you’ve sort of just been talking about when you’re going to be in remission, and like, not really only like, you know, embracing where you are right now.” And I was just like, “No, I did not know I was doing that.” I had no idea that that was happening. 

And it was, it was hard, you know, when she sort of brought that to my attention. I had to spend the next couple of weeks being like, oh, wow. Okay, this is like a new level of getting real with what’s happening. And I had to sort of also — also, I think the other part of acceptance people don’t always acknowledge is like, there’s sometimes a lot of grief that comes up with acceptance. You know, it’s not like we’re saying acceptance, and then like, you know, birds start chirping and you’re like singing. It’s hard.

Cheryl:  

No. No. It’s harder. It’s harder to accept, I think. It’s easier to be in denial, I think, I would have to argue.

Nitika:  

I totally agree. I mean, it’s easier until it’s really not, right. But then like, what happens in the moment, it does so much easier. It feels cozier or comfortable, like, okay, I’m just gonna nestle up with this denial blankets. And just be like, you know, this is okay. But it was hard. Those first couple of weeks of really coming face to face with that acceptance conversation, I had more grief, I had more frustration, I had more anger. But then, on the other side of it, I was able to really like rest in the acceptance and be like, okay, this is what we’re doing. This is what’s happening right now. This is what’s real. And I’m gonna see how I can move forward from this place instead of pretending like it’s not happening, you know?

Cheryl:  

Absolutely. Yeah. And I just, I want to say that I feel the sense of relief when you talked about being hard on yourself and being like, “I thought I was better at acceptance,” or, “I thought —” and I’ve really experienced that so many times as well. I thought I knew, or I thought I had this all figured out, you know, but the conditions with regards to your chronic illness and with regards to just any challenges in life, the conditions change, right? 

So, you can, you could, let’s say, one of the goals my therapist had for me was being able to really look uncertainty in the face … saying, “I have uncertainty about my future.” Let’s say when we were thinking about maybe having another baby. We have one child, and we stopped at one. But for a while I had this uncertainty. Should I have another baby? Should we not? What if I have another baby, will my body freak out again? Will it be better this time? And one of the goals was just being able to sit with uncertainty. 

And I kept — first of all, I was like, why do these — why are these therapists so obsessed with sitting with things. Like, sitting is boring. Why don’t they just jump to solutions? This doesn’t seem very productive. But yeah, but then being able to say, okay, actually, this is something I can look in the face. And I can say this is the truth of the moment, which is that it is uncertain. And it’s hard to cope with uncertainty. But I can do it. 

But I have — circling back to this, first thing is like I had that feeling of like, well, I’ve been through all this therapy. I’ve been through all these experiences of uncertainty. But then, when I get a new uncertainty in my life, it’s still hard. Why is it so hard? And it’s like, it’s not hard because I’m doing it wrong. It’s just hard because it’s hard.

Nitika:  

Yeah, and I think to be fair, also like with the pandemic, even just going back to the 2016 election for so many people, like the compounding uncertainty, that’s also systemic, you know. And just, it’s surrounding us at all times. 

I think it does — and I’m learning about the nervous system more and more lately, because I feel like it has a lot to do with a lot of these feelings that we’re talking about. I do not know much about it yet. So, I am not an expert in talking about it whatsoever. But just that, you know, the basic understanding of the fight-or-flight response that we have, and just knowing that, I mean, as a New Yorker, I feel like I’m in a constant fight-or-flight response, because that’s just what the city does to you, right? 

And then add in your conditions, and then add in the political climate, and then add in the systemic issues, and then add in all of that. I think it really can just be so challenging for us to be with uncertainty in our own lives when we’re already being compounded with all of this other uncertainty, too. Like, we’re starting at our baseline of uncertainty. Pretty high, you know. So, then — that’s at least how I feel. 

And then, to add like one thing, I’m just like, no. No. Again, you are not invited. Like, we need some stability, we need some consistency, like we are looking for, you know, comfort would be great, you know. So, I think that the uncertainty thing is real. And I also think I try to remember like, yeah, I’m feeling, you know, wiggity about this, because I’m just like, it’s already so uncertain out there, you know. So then, to add something on top, it’s challenging, I think.

Cheryl:  

Yeah. A hundred percent, yeah. And then, the environment — I’m really glad you mentioned that about living in New York — I think the environment, not just the physical environment, but the emotional environment, the stimulation around us, the sensory stimulation, all of that can really compound your own ability – Like, it’s like, okay, I can sit with uncertainty in a quiet, calm room with no external variables, when my pain is in a good spot that day. 

It’s, obviously the conditions are harder when you have more emotional stimulation or just more difficult circumstances. 

(Rheum to THRIVE Ad)

And so, on that note, actually, I would love to know what — you’re mentioning that you were learning more about the brain and fight-or-flight. What are some of like, the tools and approaches or maybe philosophies, because you mentioned spirituality, they kind of help you cope on a day-to-day basis? Like, for the people listening, who are just like, “Help me get through the day!”

Nitika:  

Yeah. You know, I always go with, like, keep it simple. I’m not one of those people that’s gonna tell you to do 25,000 things, because I’m not doing 25,000 things. And I, you know, because I’m so connected to my body from like an illness perspective, I also really want to connect with my body from like, in a beauty perspective in a way that’s like, what is it providing me? 

Like, okay, I can spend a lot of time focusing on the things that aren’t working. And that’s valid and helpful when I need to make something work better, or, you know, try to help myself in some way. But the truth is, I have a life altering condition, and I still want to live a full life. And I think that that is like the biggest takeaway that I want everyone, especially people that connect with my work and the stuff that I’m doing to remember is that, yes, this is true. We’re not talking about a toxic positivity, you know, wash over here. I’m not saying that you’re gonna say this affirmation or put on this lipstick, and then all of a sudden, your arthritis is gonna go away.  

Cheryl:

I want the magic lipstick! Yeah, sorry. 

Nitika:

Yeah, that’s just not how it works. I can tell you right now, that’s not how it works. But when I was in the height of my condition, especially with my arthritis when I was in my early 20’s, I, my bones were deforming, I was set to be immobile by the time I was 30 if I didn’t find a treatment that works. Like, it was really, really hard. And I spent most of the first half of my 20’s in bed, in a lot of pain. And I, it was actually during that time, that I learned a lot of these philosophies. 

So, people look at me now. And they’re like, “Oh, well, it’s easy for you to say, because you’re like, you know, bouncing around and you have this full life,” or whatever. And I’m just like, no. No, I learned this when I was like, in bed and had no other choice, and I was like suffering in the deepest level. So, the things that I do are still true to this day, which is like, connecting with my body in a nurturing way. 

So, I know how to connect with it when it’s in pain, and all of these things, but just going into my inner space, my inner self. And when I wake up in the morning, it’s like an automatic thing for me now, but just like, what do you need right now? Like, what do you need? To my spirit, you know, to my spirit. And a lot of times, it’s like, I just need like, a few more minutes, just right here. Or I am feeling a little irritated, I feel like I need to call a friend. Or, you know, I’m feeling a little anxious, I think I need to take a few extra minutes getting ready this morning, because I just feel like, I don’t know, my energy is really anxious right now. A lot of times, it’s like those very, very, very simple things that are not revolutionary, right? 

But the thing is, we’re constantly pushing past ourselves. We’re constantly trying to get to the next point. We’re constantly trying to achieve something, or fix something, or change something. So, the art of slowing down and just really connecting, for me, it’s my inner spirit. 

But for you, it might be something else. Like, for other people, you know, they’re really creative. I’m also really creative. And so, to me, that connects me to my spirit. But like, maybe for you, spirit doesn’t connect doesn’t resonate with you, but your creativity resonates with you. Or like, maybe it is like your athleticism if you are like an athlete and like you’d love to run, whether you have a chronic illness or not. Like, that’s something that really provides a lot for you. 

So, connecting with that deeper part of yourself, I think, is like the biggest thing that you can do. And then, from there, figuring out what are those sort of that list of tools, those things in your toolkit that you can sort of go back to and say, “Oh, you know, I have these 10 things that always make me feel better, like, which one do I need right now?” You don’t just do 10 right now, you know, but like, which one thing do you need right now. 

And honestly, like, my work is a huge part of that too, which I find to be such a gift. So, I really enjoy what I do. And so, sometimes when I’m feeling disconnected, or I’m feeling a little lost, like, I’ll literally just start working on my community and my company, and it makes me remember why I’m here, why I’m doing what I’m doing, like the greater purpose in my life. So, things like that, you know, really figuring those things out for yourself.

Cheryl:  

I love that. And that is like so congruent. I just realized, the last part of our conversation has been really congruent with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, which is this approach that I found really helpful. But it’s saying, first, you have a mindfulness moment where you connect with and accept what’s happening in the present. And then you commit to what brings you purpose and what is something that makes your life meaningful and turn towards that, instead of turning away from the present and trying to make it, you know, fix it or make it better. So, like, you’re like an expert in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, even though you’re not like a counselor. 

Nitika:

Okay. I didn’t do any counselling.

Cheryl:

Yeah. No, it’s amazing how people — and this is the thing, people, you can learn something through like a didactic approach of like going to college of studying this, or you can learn it through the streets, the streets of chronic illness that you’ve been living, you know. 

And okay, before, because I want to definitely talk about your community because it is incredible. But just very briefly, ’cause I know people are going to be like, “Why isn’t she asking about —?” You mentioned this treatment that got you out of bed, and now into more of like a remission state. Do you mind sharing? You don’t have to share the exact the name of it, but what was it that kind of helped turn things around for you from a treatment standpoint?

Nitika:  

Oh, sure. Yeah. I mean, for me, I ended up taking a biologic. So, that is what ended up working for me when I was about 25. But what I will say about it, I am so grateful for it. I’m still on it to this day. But what I will say is that I don’t believe that it’s like an all or nothing approach. 

So, for a long time, I was really afraid to take a biologic or take medication, because as I mentioned earlier, I had tried one medication that sort of kicked off this arthritis thing when it didn’t work anymore and it kind of sent me down a spiral. So, I was really afraid to try something else. 

I really had this belief system that my body didn’t respond well to medication, and I was so afraid of it. But because my bones were deforming and the condition was spreading so rapidly, progressing so rapidly, the doctor was like, “You’re going to be immobile by the time you’re 30 if you don’t stop the progression.” 

So, one thing is like, I really took my time in figuring out what that was, what was going to be the best for me. And I ended up taking this biologic that, I mean, it changed — it gave me my life back, you know. And that was sort of — the decision-making process was like, I didn’t have a life when I was starting with medication. I couldn’t get out of bed. I remember the moment that I decided to try to take something was because I was a singer; I loved singing my whole life. And I still sing. And my voice teacher had told me about this amazing audition on Broadway. And she’s like, “We’ve been practicing the songs for this particular musical, like, you should go. There’s like an open casting call, you should just like go try out.” And I couldn’t get out of bed. 

And so, I was like, wait a second. This is not — I’m not living my life. I couldn’t physically get out of bed. So, and I was 25 years old, you know. 

So, my doctor sort of — I saw a new doctor, did X-rays, I found someone who really listened to me. That was also kind of the beginning of that sort of learning how to advocate for myself, all those things. And my doctor was like, “I know you’re afraid about what can happen in the future, because there’s side effects and there’s so many things that we don’t know.” But he’s like, “But what’s happening —“ again, back to that acceptance, “What’s happening right now, like, you’re not even able to live your life,” right. Well, I did try that medication. I’ve had, you know, it’s been 16 years now that I’ve been on it, on and off. I’ve had some times where it hasn’t worked as well. I’ve had to add things, take away things, all of that. For the most part, it’s been solid. But I also feel that my mental health has played a huge role in supporting me taking the medication. I feel like working on what I put in my body from a food perspective, even like an energy like mindfulness perspective, like all those things, I don’t believe that it’s just the medication alone. I feel like I’m grateful for it and it’s helped me get over the severity and the intensity. But I think all these other things are really, really important as well.

Cheryl:  

A thousand percent. I’m laughing at myself for saying that. But first of all, thank you for sharing that. And those who who’ve listened to me for a while know that I’m very open that I’ve been on methotrexate plus a biologic for the last 19 years. And I went immediately on early aggressive treatment because of my doctor’s recommendation. 

And I was fortunate I didn’t have — I totally understand if you had a really bad experience with one biologic, it would be very hard to start another one. But I was able to, I just was lucky that my first treatment plan with methotrexate plus a biologic put me into remission for six years, and then my body developed antibodies. But point being, I also resonate. 

Like, as an occupational therapist, we’re all about like, we don’t prescribe or treat through medications. It’s all about lifestyle, and holistically saying, okay, what’s going on, you know, what’s going on in your mind, what’s going on with your daily habits and routines, you know, like you mentioned a morning routine. I love your idea of connecting to your body in the morning. I am like the least — I’m the most impatient person in the morning. I just jump out of bed, and I’m like, “I’m gonna get my to-do list, blah, blah,” you know, like, really frantic. 

And so, like, that sounds really smart, you know, to just to breathe for one second in the morning. And, you know, think about food, and movement, sleep. Sleep is like the often forgotten lifestyle factor. 

So, it takes a huge toolbox. For most people, it’s not always like a one shot, you know. Some people are lucky that they’ll just take one med, and they’re like, whoa, I got my old life back, here I go on my way. But the majority of people have to do a multi-prong approach. But I’m so glad that that med, you know, is working and that you’re able to kind of go on and off of it. 

But back to the idea of community, I’m just really excited for you to — and I’m sorry, you probably have to tell the story a million times, but to share about the Chronicon community, what you’ve built, you know. I would just love to hear the origin, your superhero origin story. How did you and why did you build this? And what is it? Just tell me everything.

Nitika:  

You never have to apologize for asking me about Chronicon because it is the love of my life and my child, and, you know, my spouse and everything in one. So, I am always happy to talk about Chronicon. It really, you know, it started in 2019. That’s when the company was founded. 

And it was really after years of doing content creation, I had done my own talk show on TV, I had done a ton of events already that were these live self-love celebrations where I’d have hundreds of people come here in New York City, and then I was doing content online, all this stuff. And I loved doing it. 

But there was a point in my career where I felt like I wasn’t really reaching the person that I wanted to reach, that like I knew I was uniquely designed to support. And that person is someone who’s lived the way that I have, with conditions and with navigating the health system and navigating their bodies in a pretty extreme way, you know? And so, I started to realize that that’s who I wanted to talk to.

 And I sort of had this moment — the origin story is I had this moment when I was at Curvy Con, which is another conference. Yeah, my girl friend at the time, she was like — my friend — she was like, you know, going there to model for something. She’s like, “Hey, girl, like you should come hang out with me and see what I’m doing over here.” I was like, “Great, I’ll come.” I always love supporting my friends. 

And I was walking around Curvy Con, and I just saw all of these ridiculously beautiful human beings. And I was like, oh, my goodness. Each person in this room, and these brands are celebrating these people. Like, they’re not saying, “Come to my booth and try on my clothes and be different.” They’re like, no, no, we want you exactly how you are. We want to celebrate exactly how you are. We want to uplift exactly how you are.

And then these human beings, mostly women, are walking around, like just totally empowered because of that, because they were really being seen, you know. And so, I literally was walking around Curvy Con, and I had this full body experience. And that’s how my creativity works, through experiences and people. And I was just like, oh, my goodness, I had this vision of like 15-year-old Nitika sitting in a booth, and getting a manicure pedicure, because that was always my biggest insecurity because of my skin. Which is such a like everyday thing, but I would be so terrified to get my nails done. 

And I had this feeling of like, oh, my God, what would it have been like for her to have a conference where she walked up to a booth and they were like, “Hey, girl with your flaky skin. We have an exfoliator for that. We have a shea butter for that. Just come sit with us. We’re gonna play great music, and we’re gonna pamper you, and you are gorgeous just the way you are. And we are going to uplift you in doing this with you.” And I just knew. And my whole body gets chills thinking about it, like, I just knew it would change, it would have changed my life, you know; it would have changed my entire life actually. 

And so, I started thinking about it. And I basically was like, what would that be called? What would that be? And I thought of the name Chronicon as I was walking around the event. And yeah, and then from there, I kind of was like, I don’t know if anyone is gonna care about this, because no one is really telling me — this is pre-pandemic, now everyone’s talking about being immunocompromised. And still, it’s not as much as we need. But —

Cheryl:

You’re right. You’re right, though.

Nitika:

But it’s the buzzword now, being immunocompromised, which is like not the case just three years ago, right? So, I was kind of like, I don’t know if anyone’s gonna care about this. I don’t know if anyone’s gonna come. I don’t know if this is weird. Like, I have no idea. But I know I need it. So, I’m just going to try. 

And essentially partnered with some different brands and told them about it, was just like, “This is what I’m thinking.” And the response was, honestly, it was another — it was like out of this world. I’ve done many things in my career before, and they’ve all been nice. But this was kind of one of those moments where I was like, what is happening? This is like otherworldly, with what people the amount of enthusiasm, and resources, and excitement, all that’s happening around it. 

So, I launched the event. We did it October 28th — so, our three-year anniversary is coming up soon — in 2019. And we sold out months before the event even happened, like I couldn’t believe it. And we had thousands of people live streaming online.

Cheryl:  

So, it was an in-person event with people watching live stream. Amazing.

Nitika:  

Yeah, it was an in-person event. We had different, you know, speakers, it was a full day in Manhattan. And it was just like, just like the best day of my life. And I still get messages from people who were there live who were just like, “That day changed my life,” because they had never seen people like you and I who were like cool, doing awesome things, like vibrant, you know, all of that. And like smart, and talented, and all of these things, and beautiful like in the truest sense of the word, right. 

And who like cool fashion, and who like cool products, and learning about yummy foods, and just like cool stuff. They had never seen people talk about chronic illness who looks like that. It’s usually a very sterile, you know, very bland, very depressing conversation. And this could not be more different. It’s vibrant and full of life and beautiful while still being real, you know. So, it was a really incredible day. 

And then, of course, the pandemic happened like the week that I was gonna put the deposit on for the next event for 2020. I ended up, you know, not putting the deposit down. So, it’s fine. And I really had gone to this venue and I was ready, and I just did a video about, “Oh, my God, like we’re gonna shoot the next event. I’m so excited.” And then, yeah, the pandemic happened, and I just had this feeling in my body, although everyone else seemed to be in denial, my whole body was like, girl, you’re gonna be here a while. 

This is not — especially because I was one of the first people to just go home and not see anyone with being immunocompromised. So, I just kind of knew that we were not going to be out of the woods for a while. I don’t think I knew it was gonna be quite this long. But I knew at least till like 2022, like my body was kind of like, this is going to take a while. So then, I started the Chronicon community, you know, and that’s our URL experience versus our IRL experience.

Cheryl:  

I love that, yeah. It’s an online community people can participate in 24/7.

Nitika:  

Yeah, and we have events every single week. And we have collectives, which are led by our members which are really awesome, where they get to do their own events. And they also produce their own content, which is really cool. And we have so much in store. We’re actually launching our own app. So, right now it’s through like the Mighty Networks platform, but we’re doing a white label of our app coming out this winter. 

So, in the next like month or so, we’ll be coming out with our own Chronicon app that people can join. So, we’re really taking it to the next level. We’re going to be creating a shop next year, which is really exciting and like in line with our event that’s coming in May, which is going to be the in-person event. So, we’re just doing a lot.

Cheryl:  

Oh, sorry. I just, like, this is so amazing. No, I’m just like how — it’s like, I feel like I’m like the SNL skit with where they have Michael Jordan on and then, what’s the guy’s name? He’s like, remember the time — remember the time you did that? You’re awesome. Like, that was awesome. No, like this — like, I literally am like, how are you —? 

There’s so many skills that you have to be able to bring this to life that are really in that, that I’m just blown away by, in addition to just the outcome of it, right, which is like transforming people’s lives, giving them community. But I know this is no small deal in a city like New York to put together something like this, so I’m just like, like it’s, yeah, I’m just getting chills because there’s so many different aspects to what you’re saying, but one of them is like, people will tell me and I do not — I mean, if you look at a picture of me from middle school, you would never think like, this woman is destined to be some sort of influencer. Like, I was, you know, yeah, anyway.

Nitika:  

Same here, by the way. I was such a nerd.

Cheryl:  

I mean —

Nitika:  

Bullied, I was a nerd, I was so hairy, and so confused. [Laughs]

Cheryl:  

Okay, I got teased for having hairy arms. You can’t really see it, but they are very dark, thick hair. And really white skin, like transparent. You could just see this hair, like even when I shaved my legs. 

Anyway, yeah, I know, so it’s just you’re so right that people don’t — they Google psoriatic arthritis or rheumatoid arthritis, and they don’t see anything that looks like the kind of life that they would want. They see something that looks very scary, and sterile, and being able to say it’s a very thin line that you’ve been able to achieve, which is something I’ve tried to achieve with my work too, which is, we’re not saying you just overcome it and then you’re normal again, or better again. It’s that we’re going to celebrate exactly how you are. If you have a deformity — like, I have deformities and my toes. Luckily, I’m a very not, what’s the word, like I’ve always said, “Oh, I wish I was more — I wish I cared about my looks more then I would probably have better posture,” or like, I just don’t pay too much attention to my feet. I’m not like, you don’t have any sort of foot fetish, or whatever. 

But, you know, they definitely look like I have a claw, some claw toes on my feet, you know? And it’s like, instead of saying, like, “Oh, you just need to come and like learn this treatment so your feet can look normal again,” it’s like, no, let’s celebrate. This is what you look like. And that’s, yeah, that’s beautiful. Sorry, I’m just excited.

Nitika:  

No, don’t be sorry at all. I’m excited, too. I mean, that’s really what it is, right? Like, and that’s what makes Chronicon, I think, different is that we’re not — I’m not here trying to sell you a cure for something. I’m not here to tell you, “You’re broken. So, I need to fix you.” I’m here to be like, “You are amazing. Like, what are you doing, because you’re amazing.” 

Come hang out with us. We have lots of resources if you want to, you know, enhance parts of your life, if you want to be better at boundaries, if you want to be better at relationships, if you want to, you know, learn how to be more empowered, and use your voice more, if you want to learn recipes, like we have all that stuff. And we are a lifestyle content platform for all of that. But really, to help you thrive in your life and learn how to live a full life while giving you the understanding that we get what it’s like living with a chronic illness, you know, so it’s —

Cheryl:

Yeah, I love it.

 Nitika:

Yeah, it’s meant to be empowering.

 Cheryl:  

I love it. Yeah. And I went, you know, it’s funny, because when I started Arthritis Life and my Rheum to THRIVE program, I tried to look up similar things. And it is hard, because there’s so many different search terms, right? I think I was maybe looking more at like, support opportunities for rheumatoid arthritis specifically, and maybe not looking at the chronic illness as much. I wish I would have come across you earlier but yeah, better late than never. 

But I just think this is incredible. And I know I want to be sensitive to your time and energy. It’s not just the time it takes to do these interviews, but it’s the energy to tell your story. And I do have a couple, you know, rapid fire questions to wrap up. And we’ll obviously be giving all the links to Chronicon. You have your own Instagram, Facebook, and website, and community website. But this question could be actually a whole episode. But one, the first rapid fire question is like, do you have just a quick nugget for newly diagnosed patients? Or, you know, a word of wisdom for them?

Nitika:  

Oh, yeah, that could be a whole episode. You’re right. I mean, the first thing that comes up for me is like, I just want to put my hands on my heart and my chest and just be like, I am sending you the biggest virtual hug. I think having, surrounding yourself with people that know how to nurture you and be kind with how much uncertainty comes from a new diagnosis, I think, is probably the kindest thing you can do for yourself. 

And that might be like one or two people, which is kind of annoying that it can’t be like 20 people. Like, most of the people in your life, I think, aren’t gonna always know how to show up for you in that specific, really tender, kind way. But the more I acknowledge, okay, there’s like these two people who get it. There’s like these two people who I can call when I’m really up against my health stuff, and they just know how to be like, “This sucks. I’m so sorry. I love you. You’re amazing. We got this. Like, you’re not in and alone,” not trying to give me unsolicited advice, not trying to fix me, like just holding me in it. 

I think you will find that you’re able to take steps forward more and more easily and like with a bit more confidence, if you have those one or two people. And accept that, like, some people aren’t going to be able to do that, you know. There’s so many things I could say. But that’s kind of the first place that I know.

 Cheryl:  

Huge. No, because otherwise people get stuck trying to convince everyone, rather than just saying, okay, these are the people that are here for me and these are the ones I’m going to let go of for now. Maybe they’ll come back later. Do you have a favorite arthritis gadget or tool, like gloves? Or like, I’m all, you know, I kind of have this weird obsession with like gadgets, but —

Nitika:  

Oh, my gosh. That’s so cool. I don’t have any gadgets actually. My most interesting thing that I do is I carry around like, I have so many pills right now. So, I’m like, here are my pills.

Cheryl:  

Oh, this could be — well, when you open your store, I could, I will be happy to offer some ideas. I have a whole collection of arthritis gadgets. It’s the occupational therapist in me. Because we’re all about like — I didn’t, I mean, I always joke the most important, you know, gadget is like your brain and your mindset, you know, but it is fun to have these little things and it’s another thing that needs to be normalized, right, and celebrated, not just like, “Oh, I don’t want to use a cane, or a mobility aid, or a jar opener, because it makes me feel, you know, bad about myself.”

Nitika:  

No, I say use the gadgets. Like, I think that’s cool. If you can feel empowered knowing you need something and finding it, great. Great.

Cheryl:  

Awesome. And then, do you have a favorite book, or movie, or show that you’ve watched recently, or something that’s been sticking with you?

Nitika:  

Oh, it’s such a good question. I’m a big audiobook person. I listen to audiobooks. And I really love memoirs, specifically, you know, I love memoirs. And I love memoirs because I feel like they’re usually like triumphant in some way. And I actually don’t need them to be triumphant around illness, to be honest with you. It’s usually better if they’re not surrounding my health because I don’t want to dig into it so much. 

Cheryl:

Me too. 

Nitika:

But I love like, weirdly, Jessica Simpson. What a great memoir. It was so good.

Cheryl:  

No, I read every celebrity memoir. Literally. I read David Spade’s memoir. It was — I will get to say, I won’t say it’s good, but I will say it is the celebrity memoir that seems the least highly edited. Like, you can tell he wrote it. You know what I mean? Like, a lot of memoirs, they’re ghost written or they’re, you know, highly edited. But his — no, I mean, it has some fun stories. I just love SNL. But yeah, Jessica Simpson’s is fantastic. Yeah. 

Nitika:  

I also really loved Alicia Keys’ memoir. I mean, I love Alicia Keys. 

Cheryl:

Oh, I didn’t get to that one yet.

Nitika:

Really good. Yeah, there were some — there was like one or two areas where I was like, okay, you can kind of cut this down a little bit. But other than that, and listening to it is amazing, because she sings in it. 

And she also has like guest people that come in and do like a little thing in it. And it was really, really, really good. The memoir ‘Educated’ is really intense, but like was so good. So, I love memoirs. Yeah, so you kind of get lost in someone else’s life.

Cheryl:  

Oh, my gosh, that’s so great. That is my absolute favorite genre, too. And I would say, if you, mentally, you have to be — if you have to be in a space when you’re not really stressed. But Jennette McCurdy’s memoir. It’s heavy. It’s called ‘I’m Glad —’ so, she’s an a child actress, who her book was called – 

Nitika:

Is that the one about her mom dying?

Cheryl:

Yeah, it’s called ‘I’m Glad My Mom Died’. I know it’s a very incendiary title. But basically, she details it really beautifully that she didn’t know she was being emotionally abused as a child and kind of coerced into being a child actor. And her mom was very narcissistic and manipulative. And you kind of see it through her eyes at the different ages, how she figures it out. 

And her mom basically taught literally, explicitly taught her how to have an eating disorder. And so, she then goes to therapy. So, it’s very heavy. But it’s super powerful. Yeah, yeah. It’s so good. But yeah, ‘Educated’ is probably like one of the best written works. It’s so good.

Nitika:  

Wow, I was like, jaw on the floor the entire time listening to that. Like, is this a real book? I don’t understand, like, what is happening? So yeah, I love memoirs.

Cheryl:  

I can’t imagine growing up the way she did. And then, just two more if — do you have time? Okay. Do you have a favorite — you said earlier you don’t use a lot of affirmations. But do you have a favorite like inspirational saying or something that you repeat to yourself? Like, one of the ones for me is like ‘I can do hard things’.

 Nitika:  

I love that. Yeah, it’s not so much that I don’t use affirmations. It’s more like I don’t consider them like a cure all which I think at one point I did. And I was sort of in that toxic place of like, I’m going to force myself to repeat this affirmation over and over again until I no longer feel bad, and that was not so good. But I do use affirmations in kind of a more personal way. 

Like, I’ll just kind of spend time, you know, sort of like I was saying when I thought about the newly diagnosed person, like, I’ll just spend time with myself and affirm the thing that I feel I’m lacking in that moment, or like I’m rubbing up against, or whatever. I’ll just sort of spend time with myself and be like, “I love you. I’m sorry. I know this is hard. Like, I’m sorry you’re frustrated.” It’s more like loving that inner child part of myself. 

And a lot of times, it’s not so much like a well thought out affirmation. It’s just like that tender loving care. Something I say a lot to myself that which a really good friend of mine gave me a card that said this years ago, and I think you’ve probably heard it, it’s just like, “Everything is okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” Like, that’s like a, you know, Hallmark card kind of thing. But I remind myself of that a lot, because I’m constantly like, what’s happening? And I’m just like, okay, it’s not the end. Like, this isn’t the end of the story. 

So, like,  it’ll be figured out. Maybe not in the way you want it, maybe not in the exact way you thought, but this will get figured out. Like, okay, everything is okay in the end, if it’s not okay then it’s not the end. Like, keep going, you know. And I do say, “Keep going,” a lot, like just taking action and reminding myself that action makes me feel more empowered. And so, that’s something I say a lot to myself.

Cheryl:  

I love it, all of those are so helpful. And then just lastly, what’s bringing you joy right now?

Nitika:  

I’m thinking a lot about joy right now, actually. Yeah, I’m thinking about it a lot. And I think it’s a huge part of my spirit. And I think when we talk about health and illness so much, we can sort of forget that we’re allowed to also experience joy. So, what’s bringing me joy every single day, the Chronicon community brings me joy. And I’m not just saying that. I mean, they know I’m literally obsessed with each of them. Like, they just have my full heart. They are the lights of my life. 

And anytime — like, we have an event later today, because we have an event every week in the community. And I’m just like, you guys are the absolute best. I feel so lucky that I get to spend time with you. So, that always brings me joy.

 And then I’m finding joy in small things. Like, you know, I have makeup and jewelry that I never use, and especially in the pandemic, I’m like, why would I use it? Because it’s just like, I’m not going anywhere. But I’m feeling joy in that lately of like, okay, let me pull out some rings I haven’t worn in a while, or let me put on a lipstick that I haven’t used in a while for myself, you know, not for any other reason. But that’s kind of bringing me some joy. And it’s been fun.

Cheryl:  

I love that. And I almost felt like it was like a leading question because I feel like, I think she’s gonna say the Chronicon community, but just in case. And I love that point about the small things as well. I mean, I almost let my earring holes close up in the pandemic, because it had been so long I hadn’t put in earrings. Especially when you’re doing meetings when you have like, but you’re like, okay, there’s too much going on in my ears. But yeah, it’s so true. And so, I’m going to put all the links in the show notes, but just in case there’s somebody who’s like, I’m trying to find her right now on Instagram, like where should people follow you? 

Nitika:  

Yeah. So, you can go to @ChroniconOfficial and my Instagram is also linked on there somewhere. But it’s @NitikaChopra. So, follow on both for sure because we share different content on each page. And that’s the best place.

Cheryl:  

You really do have to check out her pages and also website because you can see there’s so many amazing things that you didn’t even mention because we just only had an hour but, you know, she was — Nitika was in this amazing swimsuit campaign, you know, modeling like on giant billboards again, like in New York City. I’m such a dork. But I’m like, oh, my gosh, this is so cool. 

Like, and just the transformation between being afraid, you know, afraid to show yourself and for people to look at you. And then now being on a billboard. It’s like, wow, you could almost write that in a book, you know, maybe one day.

Nitika:  

Maybe one day, maybe I’ll write a memoir one day.

Cheryl:  

Yeah, I think it’s in the cards. I see it in your future. Well, thank you so, so much. This has been so uplifting for me, like it’s been a dream to speak with you. So, I really appreciate it. I know you’ve had some rough, you know, health issues, and I just, you know, appreciate you so much. So, thank you.

 Nitika:  

Thank you, Cheryl. It was so lovely to finally meet you and to be on your show. And I’m excited for the episode to come out and to connect with all your wonderful folks. Thank you.

Cheryl:  

Yay, thank you. Bye-bye for now.